So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
