I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
So squirting runs in the family.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
