do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Randomize
