Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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