Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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