we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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