found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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