I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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