Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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