Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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