Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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