You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
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