He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
