I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
The Olympian is in my bed
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
