I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
