Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Oh god it's open bar.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
