I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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