you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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