Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
We don't watch enough power rangers
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
