idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Randomize
