If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
