Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize
