Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Randomize