How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
