idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
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