i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
