I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
