so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
