I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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