You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
