so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
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Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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