3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
