Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Your penis caused this!
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
