i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
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