There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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