You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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