I just threw up on my dentist
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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