I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn