Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.