I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
