Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
