we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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