wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize