i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize