SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
