I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
