Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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