take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
