You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
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