is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
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