Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
