Her vagina should come with caution tape.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
