the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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