he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Randomize
