Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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