i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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