real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
