So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
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Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
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You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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